Friday, January 7

Sighence Fiction


Dear Media-Consumer Who Is Apparently Incapable of Independent and/or Critical Thinking,



Do I have the attention of the class? Good. I would now like to extend my middle finger to every fear mongering fucktard out there who believes and propagates the notion that OMG ALL FAT PEOPLE HAVE DIABETES! Now that that's out of the way, I will now extend my other middle finger to all those who say you can't be fat AND healthy.


So, I used to have recurrent urinary tract infections. It totally sucked, but as long as I had a steady supply of prescription-strength Azo, Gatorade, and antibiotics, my sense of humor carried me through. I hit my breaking point when I got my third UTI in three months. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, that is unreasonable! I popped a super-Azo, got an appointment with my doctor, and did some research on the internet. Apparently, if you have them as frequently as I did, the doctor can set you up with preventative antibiotics. Something like Macrobid that functions only within the urinary system and that doesn't set you up for antibiotic resistance. That sounded like just the plan, because I know all of my "triggers", and some of them are simply unavoidable, like sex and excessive sweating. I printed up some articles and went in armed with knowledge. After a blissfully candid and humorous conversation with my doctor (and some poor, unsuspecting medical student), I came away with enough antibiotics to nuke the current infection, plus some extra so I can pop one whenever I encounter a situation that might trigger an infection, and an appointment to see a urologist, since I obviously have "structural issues" with my bladder and/or urethra. Hooray, genetics.


Now, the only thing more annoying than recurring UTIs is the people who say "OMFG YOU ARE FAT AND YOU GET UTIS, YOU HAS DA BEETUS AND YOU IS GONNA DIE COS THE BEETUS IS GONNA EATS YOU!" I told the doctor that I was sick of hearing that crap every time I told someone that I had YET ANOTHER UTI. We had a laugh, then I asked him if we could check my blood sugar, just so I'd have a number to toss out next time someone tried to feed me that line of horse shit. The doctor flat out told me that I'm a very healthy individual and that he would have already tested me if he thought it was possible, but sure, why not, if it would get some annoying people off my back, he'd test me. Sure enough, my non-fasting blood sugar (after eating Froot Loops for breakfast, no less) was 111.


Time to drop trou and beat out a drum solo of victory on my fat ass!!!


This made me feel really, REALLY good, like I actually HAVE ammo besides "Well, um, I eat reasonably well, do yoga, and have no major illnesses, so I'm fine." when well-intentioned but incredibly obnoxious people say "...BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR HEALTH???"


NEENER FUCKIN' NEENER, HATERS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Now, for the sake of reality and fairness, I know that it may not always be this way. I know that, as I age, I could very well develop diabetes or any of the myriad "fatty illnesses". But just once, just for that moment, being able to silence the concern trolls with the magic of SCIENCE??? Priceless.


The bottom line is, unless you have a medical degree, you can't tell what's going on in my insides by looking at my outside. Sometimes, the medical degree doesn't give you an advantage over some random asshole on the street. You can't see that my blood pressure is consistantly in the low-normal range, and that now that I have the UTIs under control, my only recurrent health problem is migraines, and migraines don't give a damn about your dress size. My health is between my doctor and I, and my husband, but only because I've given him that privilege. So stop fucking "diagnosing" people unless they specifically ask for your input. You watched Oprah? Saw a special about TEH OBEESITEE CRYSIS? Good for you. I enjoy science fiction, too.


In good health,
ME

9 comments:

  1. I know this is a personal issue and maybe TMI from a stranger, as well as something you may have already tried, but I also used to have LOTS of UTIs caused by plumbing issues. As soon as I stopped using tampons and went back to pads (yeah, I know, yuck) they stopped. I haven't had one in 15 years.

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  2. Nice!!! I'll keep that in mind if those nasty buggers show back up. I've been nearly two years without a full-blown UTI, so hopefully it won't be a problem again.

    Thank you! <3

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  3. Yay! A strongly worded letter!!! Great one, Julie! Loving this! Especially after my diabetes post the other day. Truth is, very few people know the truth about the disease!
    Also, as an aside on the menstrual front, hoping everyone's heard of the menstrual cup by now, but I could not live without my beloved Diva Cup! I refuse to have a period without it. Changed my life. Saves me thousands and no waste in landfills/sewers. WIN!

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  4. Thank you!!! The sad truth is, most people are horribly misinformed about health in general. But what can you expect when people get most of their information from sensationalized stories in the media? Pull your heads out and READ, folks!!!

    I bought a menstrual cup a few months ago. I promptly had a umm...removal incident that involved tears and me texting my husband to bring me pliers (thankfully, I didn't have to use 'em!) so I only use it around the house for now. Thing is, I'd unwittingly stocked up on tampons for the apocalypse, so when they're gone, it's all cup, all the time, and hopefully the cup and I will make peace between now and then.

    ...god I'm a goof.

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  5. Thank you for posting this! I hate when people make assumptions. Your doctor also sounds like a peach - thank goodness for the few and far between awesome health professionals out there.

    Also, both my partner and myself have gone through periods of recurrent UTIs, and judging from other commenters on your blog, I'm guessing it can't be terribly uncommon, just something EVERYONE is super annoyed and anxious about.

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  6. OMG!!! This so hit home with me. A couple of weeks ago I was in dire distress with what I thought was a uti. So I went to the doctor and he was great, but he thought it might be more serious and wanted to check my kidneys, because I had been having recurring problems with cystitis and utis for the past year. Not once did he say anything condescending about my weight or what have you. But the sonogram guy? The first words out of his mouth were "obese people have a lot of trouble with their liver being fatty". I looked at him and said "I'm not here because of my liver. And I have Hashimoto's disease so don't even bother talking to me about my weight". His response? "Let me do a sonogram of your thyroid, no charge". And what did he discover in his exploring? My liver was not fatty, and my thyroid was "almost normal" and well, it should be because I've been taking medication for it for 2 years. So he was an ass, but as it turns out it was my iud that was causing the utis and the eventual diagnosis of pid. In which case the iud had to be removed. Fifteen days of antibiotics later, including 5 days of IV antibiotics in the hospital, and I'm finally feeling better. And I'm still fat. So suck on that sonogram guy!!!

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  7. It took me many months and even gave up at one point on my cup, but now we're BFFs. You'll get the hang of it!

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  8. Well said! And if you did have diabetes, it wouldn't be time for a round of blaming, it would be time to *treat the condition*. I'm very fat and have PCOS, and yet my blood sugar is great. This is a terrible shock, apparently!

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  9. " I enjoy science fiction, too." I LOL'ed!

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